Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Only $25 to get rid of Stephen Harper???

Photo courtesy of Robofraud Canada
Dear Nathan,
Thanks for your letter from the NDP offering to get rid of Stephen Harper for just $25.00!! Wow that is some great deal you have going there.

I'm afraid cutbacks at my previous employer caused me to lose my job and the $10 an hour job I was able to find means I don't have any extra money kicking around the house.

I appreciate the time you spent listing all the rotten things Stephen has done. I know the crazy things he is doing--that's why I voted NDP in the last election. 

I guess with all the work that went into creating this list there wasn't much time left to develop an actual plan of how to get Harper out of office. I know -- there's just no overtime for you guys surviving on a basic salary of $157,731. Not enough hours in the day and all of that.

During my break at the burger place, I jotted down some suggestions for your plan on getting rid of Stephen. I send it to you now in lieu of $25:

Top 10 Ways to get Harper out of power:
  1. Buy Stephen an all expense paid round-the-world cruise on the Evangelical Cruise Line.
  2. Stage a coup on Parliament Hill, declare it a country and then ban Conservatives.
  3. Ask the real rulers of Earth, the Lizard Aliens to please send Stephen home.
  4. Get Marcus Junius Brutus to host a tribute party to StephenH on March 15, 2013.
  5. Enter Stephen in the next America's Got Talent. Use robocalling technology to ensure he wins and Steveo will be off in his new career as a Country & Western singer in no time! 
  6. Mail him a Nessu woolen cardigan. I think the manufacturer is now located in China.
  7. Learn mind control techniques and convince Stephen he wants to join a religious order.   
  8. Build Stephen Hawking's time machine go back in time to around 1975 and feed Stephen a steady supply of marijuana brownies.  
  9. Create an advertising campaign using the Miracle Prayer as the subliminal message. Replace the words Satan with Stephen as in "I renounce Stephen, the evil Conservative spirits and all their works."
  10. Organize strikes and unrest to paralyze the country and convince people something must be done  (NOTE: see Montreal Student Riots) 

Good luck. I'll be rooting for you unless of course Justin Trudeau decides to run for Prime Minister. Then I will switch allegiance because he has demonstrated that he can actually kick ass.  No hard feelings though. Swing by the takeout window and say hi sometime. I'll see if I can score you a free coffee.

Your friend,
Shelagh