Friday, May 30, 2014

Dear GM Customer Ambassador

Dear Cassandra O,
Thank you for replying to my previous message with an email that is for internal use only. I did receive a message from your customer service rep. That poor girl is not getting enough stimulation at work. I could hear the boredom in her voice. She sounded so depressed! Is she burning herself out with all the caring-about-our-safety? Like I tell my teenage daughter when she is doing her pouty-whatever-talk-to-the-hand routine  -- just breath darling and it will get better.

I know how much your GM ambassadors to the common people care about me. My first customer care ambassador was a lovely woman who only kept me on the line for 90 minutes convincing me not to be upset about my driving a car that may or may not kill me. After all what is seven years of driving my deathtrap Saturn considering the years I have left on the road?

Obviously, I need to loosen up and trust more. My second customer ambassador pointed out I had a 50-50 chance of the steering wheel giving out. Why not wait until GM got all the VIN numbers entered and see if mine came up? It would be like winning the lottery!

Thank you for the 5th recall letter for repairs already done. I'm sorry I called so many times before you could get the head office printer working and mail out the letters. After all, what is a few more months of potential accidents after seven years?? Silly me.

I know you are so very busy caring deeply about our safety. It must be exhausting giving out so many reassuring pats on the back over the phone.

All the people I have driven over the years, the young and the old, want to thank you for adding a bit of excitement to their lives. Now they can think back to all the trips they took in my car and know they were living on the edge. How lucky to have gotten home alive! The dogs don't care either way -- but you know how they are.

Finally, I want to thank you for doing the repairs and then letting me drive off away from the dealership with brakes that weren't working. How could you have known? You probably didn't have time to take it for a test drive with all that caring about safety. Don't worry though. I found a good mechanic who fixed everything. It only cost me an extra $400. Really nothing when you think about the 57 cents it would have cost you to fix the problem back in 2000. Everything was so different back then before the age of computers and media.

Please give my best to Mary and Kevin. I know they must be working hard at being committed to their customers.

Regards,
Shelagh