Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Spring is here and my house stinks

Spring is here. The old-damned dog rolled in some thawed out dead thing in the woods and is making my eyes water with the stench. New damned-dog woke me up at 5:30 barking at the screeching birds after puking into the heating vent for a second time.  Both of them are farting up a storm and so pleased with themselves. The dog shit from the winter has finally thawed and there are already flies buzzing around them. I'm still waiting for the poop fairy to show up. The birds had a fight over the feeder and the loser shit on my car window and all over the deck. Meanwhile the fecking cat has taken up with his skunk girlfriend and comes in all love stuck to add to the general stink of my house. It smells like the walking dead in here. When it gets warm enough I am moving into the shed.