Thursday, September 11, 2014

Elevators & bathrooms may trigger Pistorius-Rice syndrome

Psitorius obviously suffering fear & anxiety
I  am a walking time bomb.
I may have Oscar Pistorius syndrome.
It appears to be brought on by "the effect of the slow burn of insecurities over many years."
It hits suddenly causing you to kill loved ones while sitting on the toilet.
One day you can be competing fiercely in Olympic games while the whole world watches you either win or lose.
The next day you can be a crumbling mess on the toilet and need a gun to protect yourself.
I imagine it can also hit while you are taking a shower or while shaving.


Rice: Insecure due to his small physique
Further investigation may reveal that the Ray Rice syndrome is the same disease.
Onset appears to be triggered by elevator music.
It too is sudden and unexpected.
One day you can be competing fiercely against huge football players while the whole world watches you either win or lose.
Then the next day you are a quivering mess of fear on an elevator and must punch your wife unconscious to protect yourself.

More research is needed to pinpoint when the virus is contracted and who is most vulnerable.
Does it only affect man-babies with too much money or is anyone insecure in danger of contracting this mysterious disease?
Are bathrooms and elevators a trigger? Do we need to start disinfecting them before man-babies use them? 
If you believe you are in danger of contracting this terrible disease hire an over-priced lawyer immediately.